You can always make new friends, dear

My 6,5y old daughter is now a 1st grade student. She always loves school and she enjoys almost all activities she has in school everyday :) Sometimes I pretend about not taking her to school one day with many reasonable reasons, she always refused and said she need to go to school to study and meet her friends no matter what! LoL. That's how she loves school.

One day, when I picked her up after school, she entered the car silently and with no smile at all. Well, this is not her very much. She always enter the car in smile and can not stop talking about what happened in school that day. But on that particular day, she act different. I asked why she looks like having a bad mood. I wonder whether she's sick or something. But she said, No. 

"Angeline, my classmate, doesn't want to play with me. And she asked my other girl classmates to stop playing with me too. So I have no friends to play with, while I'm waiting for you to come and pick me up."

She told me about that in a very sad voice and face. I thought: oooh geeezz, this kind of bully has already started among a very young children nowaday. I remember back in my time, almost every 1st grade students get along with their classmates well and play together everyday. And bullies began to start when they grow older such as 5th or 6th grade after they meet more kids in school and trying to make new friends. But now, it seems that it starts early enough among the 1st grade students.

To be honest, this is the first time for me to deal with this. I read a lot and learn from other parents about how to deal with this kind of problem. The conclusion that I got is that we need to teach our kids about self-confidence first. To teach them that they are equal with their other friends, so there's no need to be afraid and you can make friends with everyone. In my daughter's case, I think she's dissapointed to see one of her friends has managed to push other kids to stop playing with her and how they listen to her. She was afraid that this means she will be alone all the time and no one will play with her again unless she follows the rules made up by this Angeline. She thought about what will going to happen with her in school without any friends to play with. School will be fun no more.

I don't want to add more negativities to this anymore. I don't want her to pay hatred with hatred since that will never solve the problems. Instead it will add bitterness into her heart in the future. So I told her that she does not need to feel sad about it all. There will a way out of every problem she has in school and she needs to keep that in mind. In this case, if Angeline stop playing with her and order her other classmates to stop playing with her either, she can always find other friends in school to play with. If she can not play with her classmates, she can always go and meet friends from other classes. In there school, there are five classess for 1st grade students and many of them are her former kindergarten's classmates also. She can go and play with them instead.

She looked surprised with my opinion and started to smile.
"How can I not think of that before?" She said excitedly. "I still can play with Ayumi, Anastasia or Zsezse in Rainbow Class (name of other 1st grader class room). And she said she will absolutely visit them tomorrow. I was happy to see her smile back again. And to add a little relief to her dissapointment before, I asked her to tell this Angeline:

"Hi, Angeline. If you refused to play with me, that is fine. I still have so many friends out there who willing to play with me. You are not my only friend. So, please be nice with your friends."

After that day, she realizes that she still have so many friends outside her class room to be friends with. And teach her how to make new friends too by saying 'hi' first to other kids and introduce herself first and remember to be nice to them. She makes more and more friends right now and knowing that so many new friends to come in the future. So no need to be worry about not having friends in the future anymore.

Good job, my daughter. I love you :)

Grumpy Shopkeeper

Is it true that you must pay more for a better service? I think it’s true. Yesterday, I stopped by on store just a few minutes from my house. I just want to buy some cokes. Some of my family members were about to come to visit us. They love cokes and I think it’s far easier to serve than some cup of tea or coffee, right?

I went in to the store and went directly to the food and beverage area. First, I looked into the big chiller full of bottled drinks. I want to buy the cold one so that I don’t need to add ice cubes any more. After searching here and there, I can not find any cold coke everywhere. I can only see the regular bottles laid on a long shelf. I decided to ask the shopkeeper to safe more time, because my husband and daughter were waiting for me in the car outside the store.

I saw her standing next to the bottles of coke. I asked her whether she can show me where to find the cold cokes. She just shook her head and said nothing. She didn’t even smile! I guess she was trying to tell me that they don’t have the cold cokes, only the regular one. But she refused to answer my question directly. After shaking her head, she turned her back at me and starts to arrange some bottle which are already neat and pretend that I wasn’t there.

I don’t know what kind of people is this. I asked her politely and she didn’t even answer my questions. The first thing comes up to my mind was: this woman is definitely crazy! I tried to ask the same questions twice and still got the same kind of body language. Not even a word. This time I justified my first impression on her. She is definitely crazy.

How can a crazy impolitely woman like that got a job to work on store where she needs to give a good service to the customers. I just can’t figure out why.

Or maybe she acted like that because I came there with a simple t shirt and a simple short pant? I wonder would she act different if I showed up with a fancy gown and a stiletto. Will she choose to ignore me either? I bet she will welcome that kind of customer better. I bet she wrote on her mind: wealthy people means big spender. Sigh… She’s got all this wrong.

I think this kind of situation can also happened if I visit a branded boutique with a simple outfit like t shirt and short pant. They will ignore me even if I have a lot of money and 20 credit cards. Why? Because they already judge me from the outside look. In fact, they can’t see through my wallet. They only choose to serve “wealthy look customers” better. Wealthy look. Because, the truth is nobody can absolutely know the inside part of your wallet. Everybody can acts like a wealthy person, but who knows? Customers didn’t have a big logo on their foreheads telling everyone that they’re rich people, right? I’ve seen a lot of high end people who choose to use daily simple outfit when visiting store to buy some things. Don’t judge the book by its cover.

Every customer deserved the best services. Rich or poor, pretty or ugly, black or white, big spender or not. Everyone. And I think every shopkeepers in this world should ask themselves: Am I suitable for this kind of job?

If you can’t put a smile on your lips in front of your customer; or if you can’t answer your customer’s questions politely, I think you should get out of this business. You must learn more about the ethics. Find a job where you can work alone, get grumpy all the time and develop your body language skill better. Such as in a cave or inside your basement, maybe. Sigh..

Sorry for this grumpy share today, fellas. I just can’t hold it myself. I want to share it with you. Have you ever saw a bad shop keeper like that?