You can always make new friends, dear

My 6,5y old daughter is now a 1st grade student. She always loves school and she enjoys almost all activities she has in school everyday :) Sometimes I pretend about not taking her to school one day with many reasonable reasons, she always refused and said she need to go to school to study and meet her friends no matter what! LoL. That's how she loves school.

One day, when I picked her up after school, she entered the car silently and with no smile at all. Well, this is not her very much. She always enter the car in smile and can not stop talking about what happened in school that day. But on that particular day, she act different. I asked why she looks like having a bad mood. I wonder whether she's sick or something. But she said, No. 

"Angeline, my classmate, doesn't want to play with me. And she asked my other girl classmates to stop playing with me too. So I have no friends to play with, while I'm waiting for you to come and pick me up."

She told me about that in a very sad voice and face. I thought: oooh geeezz, this kind of bully has already started among a very young children nowaday. I remember back in my time, almost every 1st grade students get along with their classmates well and play together everyday. And bullies began to start when they grow older such as 5th or 6th grade after they meet more kids in school and trying to make new friends. But now, it seems that it starts early enough among the 1st grade students.

To be honest, this is the first time for me to deal with this. I read a lot and learn from other parents about how to deal with this kind of problem. The conclusion that I got is that we need to teach our kids about self-confidence first. To teach them that they are equal with their other friends, so there's no need to be afraid and you can make friends with everyone. In my daughter's case, I think she's dissapointed to see one of her friends has managed to push other kids to stop playing with her and how they listen to her. She was afraid that this means she will be alone all the time and no one will play with her again unless she follows the rules made up by this Angeline. She thought about what will going to happen with her in school without any friends to play with. School will be fun no more.

I don't want to add more negativities to this anymore. I don't want her to pay hatred with hatred since that will never solve the problems. Instead it will add bitterness into her heart in the future. So I told her that she does not need to feel sad about it all. There will a way out of every problem she has in school and she needs to keep that in mind. In this case, if Angeline stop playing with her and order her other classmates to stop playing with her either, she can always find other friends in school to play with. If she can not play with her classmates, she can always go and meet friends from other classes. In there school, there are five classess for 1st grade students and many of them are her former kindergarten's classmates also. She can go and play with them instead.

She looked surprised with my opinion and started to smile.
"How can I not think of that before?" She said excitedly. "I still can play with Ayumi, Anastasia or Zsezse in Rainbow Class (name of other 1st grader class room). And she said she will absolutely visit them tomorrow. I was happy to see her smile back again. And to add a little relief to her dissapointment before, I asked her to tell this Angeline:

"Hi, Angeline. If you refused to play with me, that is fine. I still have so many friends out there who willing to play with me. You are not my only friend. So, please be nice with your friends."

After that day, she realizes that she still have so many friends outside her class room to be friends with. And teach her how to make new friends too by saying 'hi' first to other kids and introduce herself first and remember to be nice to them. She makes more and more friends right now and knowing that so many new friends to come in the future. So no need to be worry about not having friends in the future anymore.

Good job, my daughter. I love you :)

Young girls in inappropriate dresses

There's a short quotation I found on a movie yesterday. The movie is about a serial killer who got caught by police in his last "action". The killers common victims are young girls whom he raped first before killed. Apparently, he's in some kind of therapy for his "craziness" and still try to get rid of his beast intention over young girls. In the end, he failed and once again caught by policemen. When he's been interrogated about why he could do such a horrible thing to young girls, and why he prefer young girl instead of adult women. Because he can actually get a prostitute anytime he wanted. It's his answer that I think we need to realize.

"Why do you think the use young girls on posters? Why young girls want to be portrayed half naked with mouth and legs opened wide, just to promote clothes? And they call it modelling. I think deep inside their hearts, they want people like me."

Geezz, I never think that way before. But I think that something is real about this thought. Pedophiles are increased in numbers. You can read or watch or heard about so many young girls have become the rape victims. The police caught so many of these criminals everyday but somehow their numbers are keep growing and growing. The rape victims are getting younger and younger every year. I keep asking myself, why?

Yes, these predators are animals! They destroy young girls' life and leave nothing but a traumatic memories behind. But young girls aren't innocent either.

Have you noticed how young girl dressed themselves nowadays? It's true that almost of them look half naked. Tiny tank tops, tiny shorts/skirts, tight dresses, etc. They walk with almost every part of their body opened. They don't feel ashamed because almost every young girls dress like that. And they considered it cool because that style is in trend. You can see it in many fashion magazines. How young girls as models photographed in certain kind in order to sell clothes. And most of the time, almost naked.

Well, you may say that it's all for art, yes you may. You can also say that it's not that picture's fault, it is depend on how you interpret them. It's not porn until you consider it nasty, some says. But you can't control other people's interpretation. Some sick guys like the criminal above is one of the nasty people.

You can see those half naked young girl portrait as art and fashion, but guys like those predators considered it as invitation. Young girls with tiny tank tops and tiny tight short can easily become their victims. You can also become the victim even if you dress properly. You can imagine what will happen to the half naked ones.

My point here is, you should watch what your young girls wear everyday, mommies. Will you let your daughter leave the house topless? We can explain to them why they should avoid that kind of dress, not just as mom but also as woman. Tell them how crazy the world outside. Don't make yourself as a trigger to those predators craziness. It's doesn't mean that they have to dress like nuns everyday, just dress properly. Don't show off too much of your skin. Cover your breasts properly. Do not expose your thigh and your behind, just because your favorite models dress that way.

We realize that it's not easy to get understanding from them. But still we must teach them this, right? Before something terrible happens to them just because some sick guys watch them walking in the mall with some friends and most of them wear tiny tiny tops and bottoms. It's a hard world :(

Image source: claireverity.wordpress.com

Asha's New School

A kind of stupid-silly thing happen in my daughter's kindergarten a few days a go. I was informed that they're no longer receive any students anymore and will close down the school start from next month. Ridiculous! I've never found a school like that which obviously close down the school while so many students still willing to continue their study there. While so many school out there were forced to close down due to lack of students interested to study there.

But the most unfair part of this story is that because we're given the information without any notes from school at least a month before. All parents don't have any idea at all that their kids won't be able to continue study in that school anymore and totally unprepared to find other school right away. As result, the options left are only expensive school which still available for new students for next months since almost all school were already full with new students and unable to receive any new ones.

Asha's New School

Well, that means that my dear Asha will be removed to other good school which fortunately still have 2 spots left for new students. This is truly a precious experience for me as parent that I'd rather pay for a quite pricey school with trust-able reputation in the future. Well, what can I say, education is not cheap. But parents will do anything to get a perfect school for their children and work as hard as possible to earn more money for their education funds. I just hope all the best for my cutie Asha :)

It's Going To Be Hectic Real Soon

I feel a bit confused and worry at the same time right now. My pregnancy is getting older and my due date is getting closer, about 3 months again. I've been reading a lot about contaminated formula milk in my country before especially formula milk for new born babies. It really makes me hesitated to feed my new born baby with formula milk. I plan to purely breastfeed him for at least 6 months before introducing formula milk as additional. And that's a huge plan!

Because I already have a 4 years daughter right now and she needs a different kind of attention right now. I never use a nanny service before because I can't simply imagine anyone else will ever take care of her as best as I could do. That's why I choose to resign from my previous job and become a stay at home mom. And I make it. I manage to raise my first daughter by myself until 4 years old. But by the coming of my second child everything would be different. I don't think I'll be able to breastfeed my newborn baby and at the same time nursing my 4 years old daughter all by myself. I can imagine that it would be very hectic for me. The only way out is to find more help and support.

I'm going to need a nanny eventually, no matter how hesitated I am about it. I've been trying to find a qualified and credible nanny for about 3 months now and end up with nothing. Meanwhile, my due date is getting closer. It makes me hold my breath just to imagine how hectic the situation with me in the next few years. Being a mother is never easy and it's going to be harder and harder. May God help me to take care His two amazing miracles in the future.

Home Made Meal For Kids Lunch

I think it much easier for parents to just give their little kids an amount of money for allowance without bother about how are they going to spend that money. The common purpose of this allowance is for lunch at school or to buy snacks on their spare time. But I think we still need to figure out how they spend their allowance. Little kids usually can't make a right choice for healthy food for lunch. If you just give the money and let them figure it out for themselves, then you couldn't blame them if they're getting over weight due to eating junk food everyday.

Kids would prefer burgers, hot dogs, chicken nuggets and french fries rather than fish or vegetables. They always try to get rid those kind of healthy foods even where you're there watching them. Imagine what will happen if they can choose whatever they want without having you around. Not to mention the food's hygiene and how your kids can end up with indigestion problems.

Maybe you would like to consider about preparing a home made foods for them instead of giving them allowance to buy meal for lunch. Healthy sandwich and fruit in a small cute bag which they can carry to school will be a healthier choice. You can guarantee the freshness and nutrition and maintain the hygiene level. Yes, you will going to spend more time to do this, but it's worth to do. You can find various healthy recipes for children every where (books or online) and serve it the way they like it.

I don't hate junk food at all, because junk food is actually tasty. LoL. But I don't want my child to eat junk food everyday. I still can enjoy junk food once a week, especially on weekend. But that's all.

Image Source: www.foxnews.com

Kid's Supplementary Vitamins, Pros and Cons

Do you give supplementary vitamins for your kids, mommies? There's been pros and cons about this so far. Some mommies say that it's okay to give vitamins to help our kids grow healthier and smarter every day. But the cons say that supplementary vitamins are not urgently needed and how mommies should think about the side effects of unnatural vitamins like that to our children.

Indeed, I can understand all the explanation that both sides gave so far. And I think both of them are right. The pros said that supplementary vitamins can be used to support our kids growth and that's true. Those supplements have been clinically proven and studied by the right experts concerning the ingredients and the use of each supplement. Maybe they're not as good as the natural vitamins but not as bad as other mommies thought also.

For the cons side which refuse to give supplementary vitamins for their kids, I found their reason is good too. Nothing better than giving our kids the real carrots to gain vitamin A then giving the a vitamin A tablet. But, what if you don't have time to prepare the proper food for your kids due to some other urgent daily business? Are you going to choose to not giving any kind of supplementary vitamins too? Or what if your kids refuse to eat those carrot you gave them? Are you going to force them to eat it? Kids are well known for their picky habits. So, while we teach them to love foods, we must think about their need of vitamins at the same time too.

So, I think nothing's wrong about giving your kids supplementary vitamins each day as long as you remember that they can't replace the good from natural ingredients such as fruits and vegetables or grains and eggs. Just be a flexible mommies. If your kids enjoys every kind of food you gave them (including fruits and vegetables) and you always have spare time to make sure that they meet their correct proportion each meal according to their ages and needs, then you shouldn't need to worry about not giving your kids supplementary vitamins. Just make sure that the intake is proportional so that your kids can be avoided from Avitaminosis.

But, if you feel that you can provide a complete package of vitamins for your kids, then supplementary vitamins are not forbidden. But they can't replace the healthy and natural foods whatsoever. Because on top of that, we, as parents, only want the best for our kids.

Image Source: www.preparednesspro.com

Do you allow your kid to draw anything in your wall?

Some said that we must let our little ones exploring everything in the house so that they can learn much and I agree about that completely. But I don’t think that drawing in the wall has something to do with exploring new things they need.
My daughter loves her crayons and colored pencils so much. After we bought those crayons for her, she started to draw her very first line on our living room wall. Well, I’ve seen many houses which have so many odd graffiti in walls made by their little kids. And to be honest I don’t want my house to look like one of those. So after drawing the line in the wall I told my daughter to stop doing it again. I explained to her that I also bought her colorful drawing books along with her crayons and colored pencil for a reason. She can draw whatever she likes in those books. But the wall is not a giant drawing book and she isn’t allowed to scratch anything on it with her crayons for whatever reasons.
Again, some said to me that somehow could be a hamper to her curiosity to explore every place in the house. I said, I don’t think so. My daughter needs to learn about what is right and what is wrong in early age. She knows that she can draw and write whatever she likes as long as she did it in the right media such as a book. But at the same time I also need to teach her that it’s not nice to draw anything in someone else’s wall even if it was her house no matter how young she is. The wall is not a giant drawing book. She needs to realize that.
By doing so, I could prevent her from feeling confuse in the future about how she was allowed to draw anything in the wall when she was very young but forbidden to do so when she’s getting bigger. After knowing that it’s not nice to draw anything in wall, she will use the available books to pour her sense of art instead of using the wall. I also told her that by drawing pictures in her book, I can put it in a nice frame so she can enjoy her pictures anytime she wants. Thank God, she never draws anything in the wall again. Every time we go to a book store, she will pick a new drawing book for herself. She loves drawing. We also plan to buy her a medium size board to put on the wall, next time. School age children love to imitate their experiences in class room. So, I’m sure she will be happy to have her own white board and act like a real teacher using it. LoL

Image source: www.cartoonstock.com

How To Separate Your Kids From Their Bottles

Usually, bottle (also called as nipple in US) can only be used for baby only. If you have toddlers who still insist to use bottle instead of cup, then you should start thinking about how to separate them from the bottle as soon as possible especially if your little one has few baby teeth already. A long term use of this bottle can cause a serious problem to your kids such as caries. This can also affect the growth of baby teeth inside their mouth which can possibly affect their adult’s teeth also in the future.Children who have become so addicted with this bottle usually refuse to replace it with cups or mugs. If you force them to do it, they usually cry and refuse to drink anything without that bottle. The easiest way to prevent this “chaos” is by introducing them to toddler trainer cup earlier when they still don’t completely understand the different between both of them yet. After your little one has able to walk (usually started from 1 year or so), you teach them how to use the toddler trainer cup. If you can introduce the trainer cup earlier than that, it will be just fine. The fact that they can drink while in sitting or even standing position could be a new interesting experience for them compare to the bottle which usually comfortable while used in lying position.
Give them several kinds of toddler trainer cups with different colors, shape or patterns. One year kids are usually easier to accept this change rather than the two or even three years old ones. It’s hard to change a habit that has been last for more than two or three years. It will be easier for you also to replace that toddler trainer cup with an kid's cup in the future since you can simply take the lid away and the trainer cup turns into an ordinary cup. There are so many cute kids cups to pick in the stores. Ask your children to pick their own cups so that they will use it happily. As usual, colors and patterns are the most important thing for them LoL
So, get rid that bottle as soon as possible before they become so addicted with it and never want to let it go. Believe me, it will be harder for you to see your kid brings their own bottle every time they go to school just because they already feel comfortable with it and refuse to replace it with an ordinary cup. The older your little one becomes it will be harder for you to separate them.