Young girls in inappropriate dresses

There's a short quotation I found on a movie yesterday. The movie is about a serial killer who got caught by police in his last "action". The killers common victims are young girls whom he raped first before killed. Apparently, he's in some kind of therapy for his "craziness" and still try to get rid of his beast intention over young girls. In the end, he failed and once again caught by policemen. When he's been interrogated about why he could do such a horrible thing to young girls, and why he prefer young girl instead of adult women. Because he can actually get a prostitute anytime he wanted. It's his answer that I think we need to realize.

"Why do you think the use young girls on posters? Why young girls want to be portrayed half naked with mouth and legs opened wide, just to promote clothes? And they call it modelling. I think deep inside their hearts, they want people like me."

Geezz, I never think that way before. But I think that something is real about this thought. Pedophiles are increased in numbers. You can read or watch or heard about so many young girls have become the rape victims. The police caught so many of these criminals everyday but somehow their numbers are keep growing and growing. The rape victims are getting younger and younger every year. I keep asking myself, why?

Yes, these predators are animals! They destroy young girls' life and leave nothing but a traumatic memories behind. But young girls aren't innocent either.

Have you noticed how young girl dressed themselves nowadays? It's true that almost of them look half naked. Tiny tank tops, tiny shorts/skirts, tight dresses, etc. They walk with almost every part of their body opened. They don't feel ashamed because almost every young girls dress like that. And they considered it cool because that style is in trend. You can see it in many fashion magazines. How young girls as models photographed in certain kind in order to sell clothes. And most of the time, almost naked.

Well, you may say that it's all for art, yes you may. You can also say that it's not that picture's fault, it is depend on how you interpret them. It's not porn until you consider it nasty, some says. But you can't control other people's interpretation. Some sick guys like the criminal above is one of the nasty people.

You can see those half naked young girl portrait as art and fashion, but guys like those predators considered it as invitation. Young girls with tiny tank tops and tiny tight short can easily become their victims. You can also become the victim even if you dress properly. You can imagine what will happen to the half naked ones.

My point here is, you should watch what your young girls wear everyday, mommies. Will you let your daughter leave the house topless? We can explain to them why they should avoid that kind of dress, not just as mom but also as woman. Tell them how crazy the world outside. Don't make yourself as a trigger to those predators craziness. It's doesn't mean that they have to dress like nuns everyday, just dress properly. Don't show off too much of your skin. Cover your breasts properly. Do not expose your thigh and your behind, just because your favorite models dress that way.

We realize that it's not easy to get understanding from them. But still we must teach them this, right? Before something terrible happens to them just because some sick guys watch them walking in the mall with some friends and most of them wear tiny tiny tops and bottoms. It's a hard world :(

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My Baby's Kicks

Every time I feel his kicks inside my belly, I just can't stop smiling no matter how sleepy I am.The funny thing is this is my second pregnancy. That means I've been in this situation before with my first daughter. But the magic is just can't stop. You will always feel amazed when you realize that there is a little tiny person who's growing inside of you everyday and how he shows you that he's alive, by kicking you regularly. Hahaha..

This is my 6th month pregnancy and my baby is big enough to show some actions that he's alive, everyday. Sometimes I feel my belly is so tight then I have to find a place to (at least) sit or even laying. The more I touch my belly (or talking to my belly) the more he will kick me. Amazing!!

Blessed you all mother out there who's been given a chance to have this amazing experience. To be able to feel the growing life inside your body and praise The Almighty God for His beautiful plan over you. May God bless my little tiny baby inside my belly right now. I already love you even when you're just a tiny spot inside me.

Image Source: /www.ourbabyhuman.com

Nanny And Your Kids' Independency

It's hard to find a nanny who loved our kids as sincere as we (parents) do, right? So when you've found one, you will try your best to keep the nanny with you and please her with everything she wants. By doing so, you hope your kid will be happy and in a good care of a loving and professional nanny. And at the same time, the nanny feels comfortable to work in your house and willing to stay for a long time.

But, watch out, mommies! Your kids could become so attached to the nanny and slowly forget to learn about how to be an independent person according to her/his age. Let me tell you a story about a nanny of my daughter's classmate in playgroup.

This little girl (usually called Taya) is 3 years old. The regulation in the school is parents must leave their kids study in the class room alone. Parents can wait for their children in a special room together with other parents. But no adult people is allowed inside the class room except for the teacher/s. If your kid is new, you can accompany her/him for the first three days only, after that you must leave the class room and wait with other parents in the waiting room. Most of the kids usually cry and upset when watching their parents leaving them inside, but it's only happened for a few days. They will soon understand that parents aren't allowed to accompany them inside the classroom and they will accept it and happily meet their parents back outside the classroom, after the class is over.

But this little girl, Taya, has been accompanied by her nanny for almost 5 months inside the class room. Her nanny makes an excuse that Taya will be very upset if she leaves her alone in the classroom. But regulation is still regulation. The teacher finally insisted that the nanny must wait outside the class just like other parents did. When this happened, Taya screamed and cried so loudly, but her teacher managed to persuade her after 10 minutes. She has been told that her nanny is waiting outside, no one is going to leave her alone. She stopped crying but still refuse to study. Her teacher keeps persuades her and at least she's willing to stay inside the classroom without her nanny. Next time she'll get better.

But outside the classroom, silly thing happens. The nanny's crying. She said she can't be separated from Taya (even for only about 2 hours!?) and the teacher shouldn't have forced her to do so. The nanny told us that Taya is so attached to her 24 hours a day. Even when she needs to go to the bathroom, Taya will drag her chair and wait for her exactly in front of the bathroom's door which must be left opened. Can you imagine how stupid that situation is?? Maybe the nanny told us the story in order to gain our sympathy and showing us how close and important she is to Taya. But, instead of looking at her with a smile and understanding, we look amazed and frowned. What kind of nurture is that?

The nanny failed to teach Taya about independence. I wonder what's going to happen to this little girl if suddenly her nanny can not work and accompany her anymore. In this Taya case, I don't think that the little girl has a problem about left alone in the classroom, but the nanny is actually the person who refused to let it happens. She's so proud that she can make her employer's kid so attached to her that she doesn't care about the bad impact that Taya will face in the future. I'm sure the situation will be harder for Taya when she moves to a higher step such as Kindergarten and Primary School. When all her friends can adapt just well in the new school, Taya will still struggle with the condition that she must be separated from her nanny everyday.

So, if you mommies hire a nanny to nurture your kids everyday, make sure you pay attention to this side of the story. I'm sure you want your kids to grow as independent persons who can adapt well and face everything in front of them on their own in the future. Nanny is good to help them with food, hygiene, doing homework, etc. But nanny won't stay forever, someday she will leave. And tell your kids, that they must deal with it someday. But life must go on and they still need to learn and grow bigger, even with or without the nanny beside them. That's the point. Don't let your kids so attached to them. And tell the nanny to teach your kids about Independence before she managed to make your kid so attached to her.

We Share The Same Spirit, Moms

Have you ever watched the Tribal Wives program on BBC Network before? I love this program so much. You know it’s always fun to find out about how moms in different side of this world handle their domestic stuff every day. If you moms haven’t got a chance to watch it, well you may want to spare your time to watch it sometimes. The main topic is about how modern women (mostly Caucasian moms) spend time among a tribal family in a remote area and learn how to be like them in daily activities.
These modern kind of moms who usually spoiled by the simplicity of modern equipments and electricity, must deal with poverty and different point of view about gender equality. Some of them were shocked to find out there’s a different situation out there that they can barely imagine before. Women in tribal families must work harder everyday and must able to take care of everybody in her house. They deal with housework in a different way than us. They plant their own vegetables, raise their own goats or pigs for dairy products and they cook for everyday meals. At the same time, these great moms must able to watch and take care of their kids (most of them have more then four kids) as well.
If we still have some places to go to refresh our mind after long weekdays, they almost have no place to visit. They live in a remote area and without electricity. No fancy stoves, you must learn to use woods, no comfy bathroom with a big bath tub inside to relax your body, no spa/massage, no mal to shopping around, no café where you can meet some friends and share. Nothing.
You will always find something valuable at the end of the show; something about how to get better and better in your life. These tribal wives love their life and refuse to change it in any way. Though we possibly think that they’re in a relatively sad situation, but they consider themselves to be happy even without fancy stuff and modern equipments. They’re still happy wives. We completely realize that we live in different circumstances, but deep inside, we share the same spirit and love. The moms’ spirit and love. Happy Weekend, moms…

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Scornful Words From The Evil Doctors

Do you know that doctors can be evil too? I had a very bad experience about this when I was in my first year in college. A friend of mine was a medical student who works as medical intern in one of public hospital in my town. One day, we actually planned to go out together on a holiday since she got a day off to enjoy. Suddenly she got a call from the hospital and was asked to come immediately. There’s no other way, she must asked me to come along and accompanied her with hope that it wasn’t going to take a long time. Then we could carry on with our plan.
When we arrived at the hospital, she asked me to wait for her in a hall next to the examination room. She left me for a while to do her business and I was just sitting there watching so many doctors and nurses walked by. Then I saw a female patient came in, she was brought to the examination room in a rush with so many young doctors (I suppose they’re medical interns) behind her. They left the door open and that’s why I can hear most of them talking. I can still remember the conversation until now and I translate them into English for you.
***
Doctor A: “Oh my God, WTF is going on with you? Are you actually pregnant?”
Doctor B: “Lay down on that table! Quick! So we can examine you! Open your legs widely! No need to feel ashamed. You don’t think about shame when you’re making out right?”
Doctor C: “Holy shit! What is that terrible smell? Does it come from you? Have you ever washed that thing off? I can’t stand the smell!”
The female patient started to cry but those cruel doctors didn’t about stop yet.
Doctor D: “I think she was pregnant but the fetus has already dead inside. That’s why she smells so bad! You should have come here earlier, lady. Look at this mess!”
I think one of the doctors start to examine her when she cried louder and screaming in pain.
Doctor E: “Can you shut up? I’m working here. Oh God, I can’t stand the smell anymore. Can you replace me? I want to puke”
Doctor F: “You will need curettage for this. This smell is an indication that you have a dead thing inside there. We need to remove it quickly.”
Doctor G: “Then you must washed your v****a more often to get rid of this smell, lady! Oh God, you’re disgusting!”
The crying pregnant lady lay down on the examination bed with her legs open wide, but none of those doctors seems to care that she's just lost her baby! They’re too busy mocking her and told her to shut up. I can’t stop looking at that horrible scene until one of them saw me.
Doctor H: “Shut the f***ing door up. Who’s the moron who lets the door open?!”
That’s the last thing I heard before they slammed the door in front of my face
***
I’m going to let you make your own opinion based on this story, moms. Do you think that unfortunate mom deserved to be treated that way? All those doctors' scornful words and mockery statement made me feel so sorry for the lady. I will never be able to forget that horrible scene ever. I still remember it clearly after 10 years!
PS: There are also female doctors between those evil groups.

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Family Guy, Not Recommended For Children Viewers

Not every cartoon movie suitable for your little ones, moms. Some kids enjoy watching Walt Disney’s cartoon or other from Cartoon Network. Donald Duck has been my favorite cartoon character even since I was a little girl. As well as Mickey Mouse, Road Runner, Tasmanian Devils, or the old cartoon such as Tom and Jerry.
But cartoons like The Simpson and Family Guy are not suitable for children a.k.a not recommended. I already read so many reviews about The Simpson before like most of you but let’s talk about Family Guy now.
At a glance, the Griffin family really looks just like other ordinary American families. There is a mom, dad, children and a cute dog. But if you look closer you will find out that this family is absolutely different and can't be a role model of how a family should be.
The dad, Peter Griffin is a drinker who always looks stupid in most of the scene. He has a weird way to show his love for his family and wife, Lois. It seems like Lois is the only normal person in that house. Oh no, it’s not quite right either. Lois is a kind of mother who tries to kill her youngest son, Stewie. Stewie is still a baby. Lois accuses Stewie for attempted murder his own mother, Lois. How awkward is that?
It turns out that Lois may quite right since Stewie himself is not an innocent baby who always carries his doll, Rupert. He actually is an alien from different planet who hates his entire family members including Lois, his mom. He wants to conquer the world by hiding inside his baby appearance.
This family also has a dog named Brian who can talk and has a secret feeling over Lois. Brian loves Lois! (Huh!?) There’s a scene showing Brian gave Lois two tickets for a romantic fancy cruise trip. Actually, Brian wants Lois asking him for accompany, which totally odd to me. Brian knows how Stewie hates his family and save them in so many times. But Brian can’t tell either Peter or Lois about this, they will call him crazy. Beside, no one would ever believe a dog anyway.
Can you see that this Family Guy cartoon has a complex story and shows the rude behavior of its castings? If you ever watch this cartoon, I’m sure you will understand what I mean. But if you haven’t watch it yet and know that your children love to watch it every day, then you better do something about it. Family Guy is not recommended for children viewers.

I'm Ready To Have Another Baby.

Some women choose to keep their experience of delivering a baby on a video tape just to be able to watch that wonderful moment over and over again in the next few years. I’m sure you understand what exactly that I mean. This is a kind of tape where you can see mommy in grimacing pale face yet full of hope and pray while smiling daddy walking around like an amateur camera man recording almost everything in that room including the curtain. Yes, this is an exciting moment but though everyone looks smile, they actually feel a bit scared inside especially if that was your very first time to deliver a baby.
Unlike mommies who usually feel relieved or crying in a happy tears after she saw that tiny little person who crying and wriggling, daddies tend to react in various kind of ways. Some daddies will be so stunned and stop recording, while some other may cry in a proud and touched feeling when they saw their lovely son/daughter for the first time. But there are also some daddies who react even weirder that ever such as suddenly fainted or down on bended knees. Yeah…daddy’s reactions are far more interesting to watch actually LoL.
But all these excitements are not for me, moms. Delivering my first daughter is an almost dead experience for me. I planned to deliver my baby in normal way but I must end up in the surgery table after six hours in pain. My mom said that I already started to lose my conscious at that time and stop saying anything. She started to feel worry but all she can do is pray and pray. While my worrying and terrifying hubby called the doctor in a rush and asked him to do a Sectio Caesarea instead. I entered the surgery room in nearly unconscious condition and I can’t remember anything except the horrible pain in my back and the unbearable cold all over my body. I was trembling very badly but I can remember when a male nurse put two pouches contain hot water inside into my cheeks. He stood near my head and tried to calm me down. “That’s okay. That’s okay. You’re gonna be find. Ssshhh…” he said. I would never forget that gentle whispers in my ears forever. I tried to find him when I got better, but no one can help me about this. I just can say thank you from my deepest heart for his calming whisper which amazingly helped me through that terrifying moment. Because, to be honest, I really thought that I was going to die that day.
After they pull out my baby girl from me, they put her right inside my cheek and made her kiss me. I can’t remember seeing her face because after that all I can see is a pitch black. I woke up a few hours later in my room and thank God that I’m still alive and see my beautiful baby girl sleeping in my hands.
So, when hubby’s friends share their stories about how good their experiences are when accompanying their wives to deliver the baby, hubby can only smile and say nothing because deep down in his heart, he considered that moment as wonderful yet scary one. He thought that he was going to lose me at that time and my sister said that she saw hubby tears but he tried to hide it right away. Maybe that’s why he still postpones our plan to have the second child until now. I’m just thinking that he might be not fully recovered yet from his wife’s almost dead experience. Only God knows. But I’m all ready and really want to have another baby this time. I hope my next experience will be better, moms.

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Mommy Will Always Be There For You

Will you ever judge a mother’s capability of raising her children whatsoever just because her child made a mistake one time? A woman who pours all her heart, body and soul to raise her children doesn’t deserve to be judged for all her love and sacrifices. Early this morning I read one sadly statement from a friend in UK. She is a wonderful mom and absolutely loves all her children. I think she has some kind of problem concerning her oldest son who must deal with a law suit. I don’t completely understand about the problem she’s going through right now actually. But I think her son has done a bad thing and pushed into jail. And from that moment, she must face all comments and humiliation from other people time after time.
Through her statements on Facebook I realized that this has made her torn apart, she’s so sad. But I also think that she is a tough woman and she managed to contend the situation with so many help and attention from her family and friends. Until today! This wonderful tough mom finally shows her broken heart. Someone made a cruel comment about her and how she has raised a THING instead of a PERSON who already brings so much pain to other people. About how she doesn’t deserved to be called a good mother and would never accept a reward of Mother of The Year whatsoever. This anonymous person also wrote about how he/she feels so sick and disgusting to see this sad mom’s face and her family in the media and that she should be sterilized to avoid having another THING like she already has right now.
I never thought that someone would ever have such a disgusting and cruel thought like this coward here! And as usual, coward will always hide behind the anonymous profile. How could you curse a woman’s life time of experience to raise her children just because one of her baby did something wrong? A mother will love her children no matter what. Even if this all people in this world aim their guns on one of her kids, she will stand in the front line to protect them. That’s the human nature of a mother. Even a mother of the worst criminal in this entire world loves her children no matter what they do. So, don’t judge her motherhood for her kid’s mistake. That’s so unfair. What do you want her to do anyway? Punished and cursed her son too, like this world already did? It’s not her fault to protect her children she loves. Nobody should ever call her kids as THINGS! Nobody should!
I feel sympathy for her and I pray that she will be stronger and tougher everyday to face these stressful moments. And at the same time, I realize that we, as child, should hardly try to avoid doing bad thing in our life. So that no one would ever humiliating our mom for everything we did. It’s better to make good achievements after all and share all the credits and compliments with her. Make her proud! I love my mum…..

Sshh...Mommy Got Housework Today.

I usually have a house maid to take care of my house work everyday. But these past few days, Moslems are celebrating their holiday; I must let my housemaid go back to her hometown for a few days since she is also a Moslem. And when she’s not around, I must take over all her duties my self which are cleaning the house up and down, do the laundry, dishwashing and cook for meals. I think you will find me more muscular in the next week. LoL.
I’m not unfamiliar with all this housework though as I already did it since I was in college and stayed in my own room in a different town from my parent. I used to do my own laundry, clean my own room and cook my own meal. I can do it. There’s a little problem here, moms because I haven’t use this muscle again ever since I got married. I hired a house maid right away to do it for me because we’re moving into a bigger house and I was still working at that time. So you can say that these muscles have been sleeping for years now and I must wake them up. And there is another new variable..I have a toddler now. And I spend more time just to ask my little girl to stop messing with me when I’m busy *sigh*
But nothing that I can’t handle so far. LoL. All house work is ready before mid day though I must wake up earlier. But it that’s okay for me because I think I use this housework to replace the exercises I need. But I think I’m starting to have the consequences now. My muscles are all become stiffing right now. I really need a relaxing massage right now but I can’t find a perfect one yet. Owwhhh…. Next month, we will back to our hometown to attend my sister’s wedding ceremony and I will take that chance to visit my regular spa center and have an all day services LoL.
For now, I still can enjoy everything including the muscle pain. Besides, what’s more calming than to see your house clean and shiny; a delicious food for hubby and daughter everyday huh? But the most important thing is to see their smiles and respects at the end of the day :) and all those works are paid.

Cookwares Lovers

Do you love to spend money on cookwares, momsb? I have a friend who can't stop herself from buying cookwares online. She spent a lot of money to buy this expensive cookwares but in the end she felt guilty to use any of those wares and choose to keep them nicely in the special drawer (lol).
Indeed, those cookwares look fabulous especially when you noticed that those are not the cheap one. But why bother buy things if you only put them in a sacred place instead of use them to for your cooking hobby?
I can cook but its not my hobby. I cook daily for my family needs but I seldom try some experiments to make a new recipe. I love to goggling recipes from the internet to find some inspirations about my daily menus (lol) but not to create one. Maybe that's why I'm not so crazy about these cookwares.
I don't buy special expensive wares just to follow my other friends hobby. I will buy a familiar brand of cookwares that most of my friends use even if its the cheap one. As long as they free from any hazard materials and can be used for any kind of foods safely, I will buy it. I only have certain kind of cookwares in my pantry and I feel enough of them right now.

Mom Doesn't Always Know Everything

Mom knows everything.
No. Mom doesn’t always know everything. Mom doesn’t know why her babies got fever even if she already took care of them carefully and breastfeeding them regularly. Mom doesn’t know why her toddlers got injured; in fact she always teaches them how to walk properly. Mom doesn’t know why her beloved kids got sick; in fact she always prepares the best and healthy foods for them everyday and keeping them in a clean and healthy environment all the time.

Mom doesn’t know why her teenage daughters got pregnant or her teenage sons trapped in using cocaine and drugs, in fact she always teaches them about how important is to respect their own body. Mom doesn’t know why her kids refuse to continue their study to the next level; in fact she always tells them that education is really important for their future life. Mom doesn’t know why her beautiful daughters choose to marry a drunkard-jobless man, in fact she always tells them story about how that kind of man can treat them so badly. Etc..etc..etc.. (You may want to add something else that you think mommy wouldn't know either)

Can you see now? There are lots and lots of things in this world that mommies may would never know why. But there is one thing (for sure) that moms always know. She knows that she wants the best for her children. If only she could provide those best things in this life herself with her own two hands, she would definitely do it. She will always be there for them. Isn’t that right, mommies?

Happy Mother's Day

Today, we celebrate “Mother’s Day” in Indonesia. I’ve just called my mother in my hometown to greet her. I always do this in every year. When I was a teenager back in my hometown, I always try to give something as a present for her. Though that day I can only afford a hairpin from my own savings, but she always accepts it hilariously. Oh, my mom. There’s nothing compares to your love in this world, even that stupid hairpin.

Then suddenly I realize that I am a mother also. This year I greet my mum for a happy mother’s day, while my little angel can’t greet me yet. I feel a bit weird about this, you know. Just a few years ago you were only a daughter of a mother. Now, you become a mother of a daughter yourself. What a circle of life, huh?

All these experiences have opened my eyes widely of my mother truthful love for me. I know it’s not easy to give a birth to a baby, because I already gave a birth to one of my own two years ago. I know it’s not easy to raise a child because I raise one of my own now. It’s not easy to build a perfect marriage, it’s not easy to give in your entire ego and personal desires and bound up into a little family that you need to take care of. There’s nothing easy to become a mother.

But you know, being a mother is a gift also. Your kids are gifts. Your happy family is a gift. The change to give birth to a tiny angel is also a gift. Having a good and care husband is a gift. Taking care of a family is also a gift. So, becoming a mother is a an extraordinary gift! Don’t you think?

Indeed, we should celebrate this mother's day everyday. But I think we need to choose a certain time to show that we really care about our mothers. A day that will make this so special. A day where we can greet all mothers and thank them for all their efforts and never ending love. All these greet would never compare to all the love of a mother. But I’m sure all the mothers in this world would be very happy to accept a hug, a kiss, or maybe a simple gift. Everybody love hugs, kiss and gifts, right?

So, for this occasion, I would love to share this “Happy Mother’s Day” award especially for all mothers.

Maybe some of you are not from Indonesia and don’t celebrate it today. But still, you are a mother. So, come and celebrate it with us also. I would love to give this award to my foreign friends: Kathy, Jenie, Erin, Khim, Ruby, Steph, and Rose. These are my friends and also mothers. If you a mother and we do not know each other yet, you still can grab this award too. It doesn’t matter if we are friends or not. A mother is always a friend to every body, right? So, do not hesitate. Grab one of them (or maybe all of them. Lol) and bring it home with you.

Happy Mother’s Day...

Being A Single Mom

Being a single mom is not easy at all. I totally understand this one even if I’m not one of you, single moms out there. And in my own life I found it’s hard to raise children when I already have my husband by my side. I like to talk about this actually after I met an old friend who raises her two daughters by herself and stay unmarried. And I hold my lips so tight so that the questions like “Why” and “What’s happened?” didn’t come out through my lips. I realize that it’s her own life and I respect all of her choices after all.

I’m not discussing about many possibilities which can make a woman make a decision to become a single mom here. I’m sure that every one has her own reason for that. Some reasons perhaps because the death of her husband, divorce or even pregnancy before marriage. So what? It doesn’t matter. I just want to talk about how this single mom will fight the world like a warrior.

Single mom needs and must become a mother and a father at the same time for her kids. Being a mom itself is not easy. So, if you can be both of them at the same time, then you are a truly warrior in this life. Because you choose to receive such a responsibility and put those burdens on your own two shoulders. What could be braver than that?

I read some articles about this topic too on various books and magazines. They also include several single moms there to tell the readers about their opinions and experiences. And I found out that most of these single moms are not “walking alone” actually. Maybe they don’t have husbands beside them, but they’re still having their moms, brothers, sisters and closest friends as well to help them out. Especially when the single mom must leave her kids to work for her living, she can ask for help from them.

Maybe, you are one of these warriors. But you still need your own social life. The problem is that almost every single mom loses their “me time” because they’ve already given their entire time for their kids. But this is not good for your soul. You need to make sure that you still can see someone to talk with or to share with. They don’t have to be a boy friend at all. But you can make friends with your neighbors or clubs for instance, so that they can be your friends when your family members are not around.

Anyway, your kids still need a figure of a right man in their life, especially when you raise boys. Daughters can get along with their mothers but boys need “father profile” in their lives. It would be better if single moms can still have a good relationship with their ex-spouses so that the kids still having their dads around. But if they don’t, moms can pick one of male members in her family to take that position. Boys can learn about those “boy things” from him. Because even a mother herself can not fulfill this needs perfectly. It may works on our daughters but it doesn’t mean that it will work for our boys also. So, give some spaces for other male figures to help you on this one.

Single moms can also share their experiences and problems with other single moms in other places through cyber world. There are a lot of mailing lists and forums available on the internet for you. Interactions among single moms can bring a positive effect on your life, because you can share your experiences with other women who walk on the same path with you. They may already face a certain kind of problems before you and already get a clue for it. Then you can have some benefits from this friendship, right?

Anyway, still you are a super mom with or without all of these topics, moms! So, seize your days. You are warrior mothers, and I admire your strength, firmness and sacrifices always.

Tears of Bomber's Mother

Mother of Dani Dwi Permana publicly send her apologize on behalf of her son that had been accused as one of the suicide bombers in Jakarta a few days ago. It’s sad to see a mother’s tears falling down because of what her kid’s had done. I’m sure that she has given every thing she could to raise her son in a good way and hope that someday he can be a loving person and have a good life in the future. It must hurt her very much when she must look at her son’s dead body.

What were those bombers thinking? Don’t they ever think about their families they left behind? Don’t they ever thing that their actions will hurt their own family too? A mother should cry in happiness when they see their kids have made a good thing in life. She won’t ask much. All that she want is having a peaceful and happy life with her baby that has been grown up a few years later and has a better life and future as well.

What can she expect now from that dead body? She already lost her hope and dreams that someday she could spend her last days with her son because he chooses to leave her first. What kind of son is that?

I think we must think about our relatives before we do something that might cause harm to ourselves or to other people as well. Think about your mother’s tears; think about your brother’s shame, think about your sister’s sadness. Isn’t it meaning something to you?

And if those bombers thought that in the end the terrible thing they’ve done has made them live peacefully in heaven, I think they should think it back. Heaven is not a place for those who made their mothers cried in sadness. Heaven is not a place for those who made the mothers of their victims cried. What kind of heaven is they’re going to anyway? Is that heaven accepting people who feel proud because they can spread other people’s blood? It’s really a weird heaven then if it’s really exists.

I feel sorry for what that mothers must facing up within the couples of days with the title as “terrorist” that have been given to their beloved sons. Poor you, mother. You raised a son that bring you such a sadness that you must carry for the rest of your life. And shame on you, every kids that give nothing but tears to your own mothers.

A Baby Story

Between every couple who choose to marry and spend the rest of their life together, having kids is one of few miracles that they wished to come true. I only say a few of them because not every couple ready for such a responsibility and wishes to be a parent some day. Every body has their own reasons.

For our little family having kid is one of few miracles that God has sent us. Asha has come to us in a very short time.

And by the time we celebrate our first wedding anniversary, she also celebrate it with us.

Many people asked me these questions:
”Wow. You have a daughter in just one year. What’s your secret?”
“Are you visiting a gynecologic for this?”
”Do you have certain kind of food or beverage before?”
Etc.

Wise men say, every human kind has their own destiny. It’s been our destiny to have a daughter in our first year of married; while few other women is still trying and praying for this. She’s still not pregnant after married in a couple of years; even when she visiting a famous gynecologic for that.

But, can all this effort give you a guarantee for having a baby in a short time? No. I wrote this article because I have a friend who desperate enough about having a baby very soon. She’s been visit and talk about this to many famous gynecologic she known and spend a lot of money for that. But still can’t a way out.
”I’m exhausting. We already try many ways but still don’t see the right answer for what we’re looking for.”

Human can only do the best, and let God do the rest. After all the efforts that we already give for this dream, we must give space for God to show His Mercy. Don’t need to feel desperate. Because desperate is the gate to be frustrated. And this can danger your marriage life.

If we really want to have a baby to pour our love on, we still can adopt other kids from the orphanage for this. Those kids are longing for parents too; just like you’re longing for kids in your house. Why don’t you choose them and love them like your own kids? And you still can pray for God to give you a chance to have your own kids some day.

Becoming A Stay At Home Mother

A friend of mine wrote on my Face book’s Wall and comments about the term I used in my profile data. I wrote that I’m A Stay At Home Mother. He told me that every stay at home mother can also do other things beside just stay at home and watching their kids grow everyday. He asked me to do many useful things such as writing and any kind of job that can be done at home also. So I’m thinking that maybe he assumed that a stay at home mother like me is a kind of mother that do nothing in her house. Well, I think I need to explain this more.

Most of you consider working as something you do in office.
Become an employee of certain company, working with certain kind of target achievement.
And of course your company will pay you for your hard works.
It is a job. And in this term, I call you as a working at office mother.

So, what about people without office, without company, without payment like you do? You will assume them as jobless? If so, then you are so wrong.

A stay home mother is a real job indeed.
I'm not a kind of stay at home mother who spends most of my time sleeping and watching TV, you know. My job description is nursery. It’s the hardest job in the world. I don’t need office, company and payment for that.

My OFFICE is my own house; my COMPANY is my own family.
And my payment is having the advantage that nobody can force me to do anything. But it doesn't mean that I'm not a working woman. I don’t need to describe what Nursery jobs here are.
I’m sure that every stay at home mother, who refuses to use baby-sitter services, will understand that.

I can tell you that I do something for myself-development also.
I think a lot, I read a lot, I write a lot, I discuss a lot, and I even have a personal blog myself.
I can become a teacher, an accountant, a cook, a debate partner, anything.
But, you can not envy me because I can do all that stuffs anytime and anywhere.
It's something a working at office mother can not do.

You can dare me about gadget. You can dare me about book. You can dare me about knowledge. You can dare me about politics. You can dare me about accounting, you can dare me about fashion, and you can even dare me about negotiation techniques.
I know almost every working at office mother knows.

But I have one thing that a working at office mother doesn't:
"I spend all of my time doing that stuffs without leaving my house and my daughter."
You can envy me for that

So, for you, every stay at home mother in the world, you should proud of the job you choose.
And for every working at office mother in the world (or anybody else), do not under estimate us. We have our own jobs in our own way.