Being A Single Mom

Being a single mom is not easy at all. I totally understand this one even if I’m not one of you, single moms out there. And in my own life I found it’s hard to raise children when I already have my husband by my side. I like to talk about this actually after I met an old friend who raises her two daughters by herself and stay unmarried. And I hold my lips so tight so that the questions like “Why” and “What’s happened?” didn’t come out through my lips. I realize that it’s her own life and I respect all of her choices after all.

I’m not discussing about many possibilities which can make a woman make a decision to become a single mom here. I’m sure that every one has her own reason for that. Some reasons perhaps because the death of her husband, divorce or even pregnancy before marriage. So what? It doesn’t matter. I just want to talk about how this single mom will fight the world like a warrior.

Single mom needs and must become a mother and a father at the same time for her kids. Being a mom itself is not easy. So, if you can be both of them at the same time, then you are a truly warrior in this life. Because you choose to receive such a responsibility and put those burdens on your own two shoulders. What could be braver than that?

I read some articles about this topic too on various books and magazines. They also include several single moms there to tell the readers about their opinions and experiences. And I found out that most of these single moms are not “walking alone” actually. Maybe they don’t have husbands beside them, but they’re still having their moms, brothers, sisters and closest friends as well to help them out. Especially when the single mom must leave her kids to work for her living, she can ask for help from them.

Maybe, you are one of these warriors. But you still need your own social life. The problem is that almost every single mom loses their “me time” because they’ve already given their entire time for their kids. But this is not good for your soul. You need to make sure that you still can see someone to talk with or to share with. They don’t have to be a boy friend at all. But you can make friends with your neighbors or clubs for instance, so that they can be your friends when your family members are not around.

Anyway, your kids still need a figure of a right man in their life, especially when you raise boys. Daughters can get along with their mothers but boys need “father profile” in their lives. It would be better if single moms can still have a good relationship with their ex-spouses so that the kids still having their dads around. But if they don’t, moms can pick one of male members in her family to take that position. Boys can learn about those “boy things” from him. Because even a mother herself can not fulfill this needs perfectly. It may works on our daughters but it doesn’t mean that it will work for our boys also. So, give some spaces for other male figures to help you on this one.

Single moms can also share their experiences and problems with other single moms in other places through cyber world. There are a lot of mailing lists and forums available on the internet for you. Interactions among single moms can bring a positive effect on your life, because you can share your experiences with other women who walk on the same path with you. They may already face a certain kind of problems before you and already get a clue for it. Then you can have some benefits from this friendship, right?

Anyway, still you are a super mom with or without all of these topics, moms! So, seize your days. You are warrior mothers, and I admire your strength, firmness and sacrifices always.